Lean Quote: The Impact of Self-Respect on Your Life

On Fridays I will post a Lean related Quote. Throughout our lifetimes many people touch our lives and leave us with words of wisdom. These can both be a source of new learning and also a point to pause and reflect upon lessons we have learned. Within Lean active learning is an important aspect on this journey because without learning we can not improve.

"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, singular power of self-respect."   —  Joan Didion

You’ve probably heard of the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want others to treat you, or some variation thereof. It is a rule that makes sense and needs little explanation. Of course, we should treat others with the respect and kindness that we would want from others. So why is it so difficult to apply that rule the other way and treat ourselves with the love and respect that we give others?

Self-respect is applying the golden rule to yourself. It is to treat yourself in a way that you treat others. It is to respect, love, protect, and care for yourself each and every day. It is to let go of judgment and criticism and replace it with patience and gratitude.

There are some strategies that can help you improve your sense of self-respect:

• Identify your values: Start by understanding yourself. Imagine suddenly losing everything you own and being left with nothing but yourself. Ask yourself: “What is important to me? What are my values? Why do I settle for less? What could remind me of my value?”
• Keep the focus on internal qualities: Be mindful that you may get caught up in thinking that your worth as a person is due to external factors like your net worth, position, looks, possessions, or the number of followers you have on social media. Self-respect however, is about internal qualities like your character, morals, values, and actions.
• Work on accepting yourself: Start to pay attention to your thought patterns without getting caught up in them. Concentrate on self-acceptance and let go of your harsh internal critic. Commit to forgiving yourself and accepting your flaws, bad habits, and all the things you don't like about yourself.
• Challenge negative thoughts: Pay attention to how your negative thought patterns affect your actions. Identify your triggers for negative thoughts and rationalize them. For instance, if a negative experience or lack of specific skills causes you to automatically call yourself unworthy, it can be helpful to recognize this thought process and challenge it: “Even if I’m not great at singing, I am still worthy of love and respect.”
• Don’t give in to self-doubt: Focus on loosening the grip of self-doubt. Nobody can make you feel unworthy of respect unless you permit them to do so. Develop a kinship with yourself and understand your strengths and values. Remind yourself that just as we have a moral obligation to respect others, we also have a moral obligation to respect ourselves.

In order to develop self-respect, you have to act on it. You show others how you want to be treated by your actions and words. Show them that you are valuable by speaking up and setting strong boundaries.